Blog post written by: Ericka Thomas, LPCA who works with children and teens at our Apex and Pittsboro Locations!

Below you will see how to help kids by understanding how our own emotional well-being impacts them!

Do you know how difficult it is for us adults to convey our emotions (feelings) in a semi-appropriate manner?  Now imagine that you are a little kid or even a young teen who is trying to translate feelings into words and actions.  Throw in hormonal changes that are "normal" as we continue to develop and grow and you have one hot mess.  This is even more prominent when we come from a place where our parents are divorced, separated or in the process of either.  School is getting even more challenging and let's not forget the good old-fashioned peer pressure and bullying, sports events, studying, sexual identity & gender questions and any one of a million other factors that impact our ability to express our feelings in an appropriate manner!

No wonder, our kids don't know how to express themselves.  But have no fear, Super-dupper therapist mom is here (I know, that was slightly over-the-top, but you get the drift).  We can help support healthy feeling expression when our little ones are developing.  Let's start with the little ones:  

1. Explain the feeling by using words your child can easily understand. Try to use pictures, books, or videos to help get your point across. “Look at Little Red Riding Hood’s face; she is so scared when she sees the wolf in her Grandma’s bed!”.  This helps your child link non-verbal cues (facial expressions) to feelings and circumstances.  
2. Teach your child the different ways we can deal with feelings. Let your child come up with ways she can deal with her feelings. Talk about positive and not so positive ways to express feelings. There are many strategies you can use to teach new ways to appropriately express feelings: This can be done using real-life examples and "teachable moments" of everyday life.
3. Support your child to talk about feelings and practice her new strategies for expressing emotions appropriately every chance you get. For example, you can talk about feelings when you are playing a game, when you are riding in the car, or when you are eating dinner. There will be all kinds of things that happen every day that will be great opportunities for you to talk about feelings. The more often your child practices, the faster your child will learn.

A VERY VERY VERY important thing to keep in mind when working on this is that we CANNOT begin practicing this when our kid is having a meltdown!  All you do is set yourself up for failure.  We begin practicing when things are going good and we go from there.  Stay tuned for more tips and tricks in the future. 

Ready to get support with your child?  Give us a call at 919-412-5685.  We are here to help you.  Most major insurances are accepted!

I find that one of the hardest things for me to do with my kids is to be mindful.  That is why I ask them the same question repeatedly- I wasn’t paying attention when they answered.  In my own defense, I have to be mindful and completely tuned into those that seek my help professionally on an almost daily basis, so when I get home, I become easily distracted.  You can relate to that right?

Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is “paying attention to the present moment on purpose, without judgment.” You can do this with any activity, at any time. For instance, when washing the dishes, don’t think about your to-do list. “Just pay attention to the sensory experience” of doing the dishes. When playing with your child, focus on the experience of being with them.  I promise (well, not literally) that you will have a completely different experience and feel like a better parent and person for that.

I often suggest that my clients try some form of breathing exercise much like the link provided: breathing exercise .  These can be done once in the morning and once during the day, along with this body scan as you lie down to sleep.  Try setting your alarm 5 minutes earlier so that you can start out your day in a good way!

To learn more about the importance of self-care, book your appointment today.  We are here to support you!

 

As much as we love the idea of taking care of our kiddos (feeding them, cleaning up after them and acting as the mediator) the school year (for many) is beginning.  This symbolizes an increase in stress.  The chaos of working (whether you are paid to or not) and taking care of the on-going daily chores, trying to figure out everyone’s schedules for after-school and sports activities, not to mention the stress of NOT understanding your kids homework.  Like, I have a Master’s Degree and can’t figure out what half of the math homework is even talking about!  Have no fear, therapist mama is here!  Below, I have some tips of the trade that I have gathered over the many years of being a stressed out, hair-pulling mama (yes, therapists are allowed to pull our hair too).  So let’s get started:


1.     Practice self-care in intervals.

For instance, take 15 minutes for yourself, twice a day.  This does not mean, doing the laundry, cleaning the floors or anything else.  This means taking 15 minutes to feel the breeze on your skin, the sun warming you, or just enjoy those really neat cricket noises that always symbolize (for me) that autumn is coming. 

2.     Ask for – imperfect – help.

Sometimes self-care means accepting imperfect help from someone you trust, who might feed them junk food, or let them watch too much TV, or simply do things differently than you do.  That is okay.  Just breathe and enjoy the time that the “imperfect” help is giving you!

3.     Say yes.

Just like it’s often healthy to say “NO” to some people, it can also be very self-nurturing to say “YES” to someone else.  Offer to proofread your friend’s resume, give someone a ride or make a meal for a family who needs it.  It is good Karma.  This is creating a deliberate distraction to connect you with other people and remind you of the good you do in the world outside your home.  Plus, it helps you reconnect with the other parts of yourself, you know, the ones that we forget exist when we become a mom!

Want to learn your parenting style, check it out our link below for more information
 
STAY TUNED FOR MORE TIPS FROM THE THERAPIST MAMA!  

Did you know that low self-esteem is often related to depression, poor academic achievement, and negative body image, influencing how a girl sees the world around her?  It influences how a person perceives her environment and how she reacts to that environment.  Self-esteem is especially precarious when we are hitting those critical years of pre-puberty and puberty. 

Here are some signs that your daughter may be struggling with self-esteem issues.

1.      WALKING WITH THEIR HEAD DOWN- One of the most observable signs of low self-esteem is when a young person walks everywhere with their head pointed downwards and their chin stuck to the top of their chest. This is physical expression of shame and embarrassment.  Tweens/teens who with low self -esteem often feel like they want to hide and get through public situations unnoticed.

2.      NO EYE CONTACT- Tweens/teens who feel that they are not worth much find it very hard to make eye contact with others when communicating. They avoid making a connection because they assume others have the same negative view of them as they do.

3.      BAD-MOUTHING THEMSELVES- The language tweens and teens use will often convey what it is they believe, this is especially true of how they speak about themselves. Teenagers who commonly refer to themselves as hopeless or worthless are expressing a belief about who they are. Phrases like “l am useless”, “I always get it wrong”, “I could never do that” or “the world would be better off without me” are examples of someone expressing negative beliefs about who they are.

4.      LOOKING FOR THE BAD IN OTHERS- Teenagers who feel bad about themselves will often seek to be negative about others. This is usually a defense mechanism.  Often teens will be most critical of others who exhibit similar qualities that they don’t like about themselves. Other times it is a simple matter of making themselves feel or look better by making others look worse.

Flower Power is an 8 session group counseling module for girls between the ages of 8-12 years old.  The goal is to strengthen self-esteem and self-perception, promote awareness about how certain environments can affect self-esteem and promote resiliency in a real-time, down-to-earth manner that girls appreciate. 

The Flower Power program uses goal-setting and progress monitoring while building a strong community of caring, support and encouragement.  It supports the learning process and encourages girls to handle pressures and anxiety in a more effective manner.

Let’s help our girls see the beauty in themselves by calling today to join the group.  Not sure if a group is the right choice?  No problem, we also offer individual sessions as well.  Call us at (919) 412-5685 for more information.


www.peakprofessioanlgroup.com