Domestic violence abusers take away our dignity. They make us feel unworthy of love and strip us from what should be our most important asset- self-love. Men and women who use their place in our lives to manipulate and control us are not worthy of 'another chance'.
I was once told that to examine ourselves, we must first examine our environment - those around us. The best way that I have learned how to understand the difference between good influences and bad ones is the ask myself one simple question.
Does this person lift me up or hold me back?
If you are involved in a situation where domestic violence is an issue, don't be afraid to look for help.
There are many resources available to help you. As PPG continues to strive towards helping people make the best decison in life, remember that the National Hotline is available and confidential. If you are ready to take the first step towards healing from domestic violence, give us a call today @ 919-412-5685.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and in honor of the women and men who have historically lost their voices in the domestic violence battle and have been forgotten, we will be offering a variety of supportive tools. Throughout the month of October, we will be posting blogs and information related to domestic violence and offering free 30 minute consultations and 2 hour workshops related to this topic. As the owner of Peak Professional Group, I am highly committed to helping other women find their voice and thereby find the courage that they need to stand up against violence and stand up for themselves.
At Peak Professional Group, one of the most common reasons that women seek out therapy is because they have experienced some sort of emotional, verbal, sexual or physical abuse in a current or past relationship. That experience can define the person in their present reality and also in their future relationships with others. In this blog edition we are going to concentrate on and briefly highlight what an abusive relationship can look like:
* Does your partner ever….
> Embarrass you with put-downs?
> Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
> Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
> Push you, slap you, choke you or hit you?
> Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
> Control the money in the relationship? Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
> Make all of the decisions?
> Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away your children?
> Prevent you from working or attending school?
> Act like the abuse is no big deal, deny the abuse or tell you it’s your own fault?
> Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
> Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
> Attempt to force you to drop criminal charges?
> Threaten to commit suicide, or threaten to kill you?
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. In this section, you’ll find more information on the types of abuse, why people abuse and why it’s so difficult to leave. Don’t hesitate to chat or call (1-800-799-SAFE) if anything you read raises a red flag about your own relationship or that of someone you know (information taken from http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/ , please see this site for more information).
Sometimes the abuse is more subtle but still abusive in nature. For example, if your partner holds back affection or emotional responses as a way to “punish” you, then you may be in a relationship that is not very healthy. If this is the case, you can give us a call at 919-412-5685 to receive the emotional support that you need to find your voice.
About this Woman Warrior!
Samantha Afanador is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the proud owner of a private counseling practice in Apex, North Carolina Peak Professional Group. She has over 20 years of experience in the mental health field and has been a woman warrior since the very tender age of 16 when she first stood up for women's rights in the Dominican Republic. She has played many roles in her life and uses her sense of humor, authentic projection of herself and her clinical knowledge to support and mentor those around her.